Wunderground Music – Dance Music's Most Accurate News Source

David Morales Launches Topless OnlyFans Account

House legend David Morales has this week announced to his followers they can subscribe to his new OnlyFans account to see thousands of topless pictures, all taken over the last 40 years in clubs around the globe. “THE PANDEMIC HAS KICKED THE SCENE IN THE NUTS MAN” shouted David, while buffing his chest with a noisy belt sander. “NO INCOME?

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August 14, 2020

Scientists Successfully Clone Carl Cox

After years of trying to genetically engineer the perfect DJ,

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Chemical Brother’s “Hey Boy Hey Girl” Re-Released As “Hey They”

The Chemical Brother’s have revealed that they will be re-releasing

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Netflix Set To Release Series Of Solomun After Party Videos

Netflix subscribers will now be able to enjoy a series

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Fragile Male DJ Finds 7 Inch Records “Intimidating”

A fragile male DJ has bravely admitted that he finds

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Marshmello Hopes His New Fleshlight Will Reconnect Him With Fans

Rick Astley, the artist behind the famous Marshmello character has said “Lockdown

Dubfire Announces 30 Day DJ Set

After hearing of Joseph Capriati’s 28-hour set at Sunwaves earlier this year,

MUSIC

Psytrance Fan Thinking Fyre Festival Actually Looked Pretty Good

A Welsh psytrance fan who recently watched the Fyre Festival documentary on Netflix is believed to be thinking the now infamous music festival actually

1 min read

January 25, 2019

Kids Who Listen To Marshmello 10 Times More Likely To Grow Up American

A report has found that children who listen to Marshmello between the ages of two and twelve are ten times more likely to grow

1 min read

January 30, 2019

Tech House DJ Running Out Of Places To Get Shit Tattoos

A tech house DJ is said to be considering his options after revealing that he is very close to running out of space on

1 min read

April 10, 2019

Scientists Developing Heavy Metal Vaccine

Reports suggest that scientists in an English university are on the brink of releasing a vaccine for heavy metal. According to Wunderground sources, being

1 min read

March 5, 2019

HUMANS

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“Best Nap I’ve Had In Years’ Says Conference Panel Attendee

Conference panel attendees live an average of 4.5 years longer than the rest of us, mostly due to all the additional sleep, claims the

1 min read

November 7, 2023

Tik-Tok Raver Disappears On A Massive 30-Second Bender

“We thought we would never see him again!” The family of popular TiK-Tok raver @technoprick is breathing a sigh of relief this afternoon. @technoprick

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November 6, 2023

Kink Adds Airfryer To Live Setup

Much-loved Bulgarian House & Techno act, Kink, has this weekend added a Bosch Air Fryer to his live setup. “I fucking love it!” said

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July 2, 2023

“Maybe I’ll Do A Disco Edit?” Producer Hit By Moment Of Pure Inspiration

A bedroom producer has this morning blown the studio windows right out of their frames with a scene-changing burst of inspiration, one that is

1 min read

July 2, 2023

culture

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Culture·Scene

Price Of Balloons Will Rise With Inflation, Warn Experts

The price of balloons is set to rise in line with inflation, say economists, balloon experts, and drug dealers. “Any balloon will rise with

May 1, 2023

by Mikey

Events

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Ibiza Club Surpasses Black Hole As the Most Densely Packed Place In The Universe

Clubs

November 8, 2023

An Ibizan nightclub has been hailed by physicists as the most densely packed place in the universe, overtaking black holes, Tiesto’s head, and the blessed Madonna’s knickers to claim the

Kethead Locked In Portaloo Since 2019 ‘Glad To Be Free’

Festivals·People Of The World

May 19, 2023

A lad who purchased what he is calling ‘a fairly decent sized bag of Ket’ has this morning stumbled out of the portaloo he has called home since 2019, asking

Plastic-Free Festival In Essex Sees Five Thousand Turned Away

Festivals

April 30, 2023

An eco-friendly festival in Essex has this morning announced bankruptcy having turned away all 5000 ticket holders last weekend, as plastic was prohibited from the festival grounds. The extremely large

AROUND THE WORLD

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As News Breaks Of His Womanising Ways, Matt Hancock Announces New DJ Alias

World

June 25, 2021

We may know him as cheeky chopped Matt Hancock, Secretary of Health and Social Care and most notably for the massive balls up he

Job Site Now Has ‘More DJs Than Beatport’

Online

February 18, 2021

Indeed.com is now the most-visited website for dance music professionals around the world, according to a herd of boring pollsters hidden in a basement

88% Of DJs Were Super-Spreaders Before Covid, Report Claims

Health & Fitness

February 17, 2021

Eighty-eight percent of touring DJs were classed as super-spreaders long before the term became known publicly, a leading Virologist has written in The New

Biden Appoints Sven Marquardt Head Of Security At Capitol Hill

World

January 10, 2021

President-Elect Joe Biden has announced Sven Marquardt will serve as Head Of Security at Capitol Hill following last week’s riots at the building. Sven,