Wunderground Music – Dance Music's Most Accurate News Source

Opening DJ Wants To Know Can He Borrow Headphones

An opening DJ is hopeful of borrowing a set of headphones to perform his set as he hasn’t yet managed to buy himself a set good enough to use while playing out. Mark Jones, who goes by the alias MRK JNS, a name he got by removing all of the vowels from his actual name, something that has never been

1 min read

July 30, 2019

DJ Demands Bigger Font on Lineup Before Leaving Womb

An unborn fetus who is expected to eventually grow into

1 min read

Knob-Twiddling DJ Finally Admits to Doing Fuck All On Stage

A DJ from Detroit with the unfortunate title of DJ

1 min read

Pacha To Dismantle Marco Carola For Parts

Pacha have announced they will be scrapping Marco Carola before

1 min read

DJ Drinks 20 Beers Before Set – Blames Sound System For Shit Performance

A DJ who “smashed” twenty beers before a recent set

1 min read

DJ Is An Expert At Syncing Tracks To The Firework Display, Somehow

DJs have evolved the ability to see into the future. Either that,

Chemical Brother’s “Hey Boy Hey Girl” Re-Released As “Hey They”

The Chemical Brother’s have revealed that they will be re-releasing their 1999

MUSIC

Archeologists Uncover Gabber Then Bury It Again

In recent news, a group of Oxford archeology students have discovered the oldest recorded version of gabber. The class were astounded to hear the

1 min read

August 28, 2019

Tech House DJ Running Out Of Places To Get Shit Tattoos

A tech house DJ is said to be considering his options after revealing that he is very close to running out of space on

1 min read

April 10, 2019

Moby Denies Skin Head Accusations

Former electronic music producer Moby has denied a recent report which claimed the animal rights activist was a skinhead. Despite being follically challenged and

1 min read

February 21, 2019

9 Out Of 10 Idiots Still Think Kerncraft 400 Is Called Zombie Nation

A recent survey has revealed that the nine out of ten idiots still think the song Kernkraft 400 is actually called Zombie Nation. This

1 min read

March 7, 2019

HUMANS

Go Deeper →

“Best Nap I’ve Had In Years’ Says Conference Panel Attendee

Conference panel attendees live an average of 4.5 years longer than the rest of us, mostly due to all the additional sleep, claims the

1 min read

November 7, 2023

Tik-Tok Raver Disappears On A Massive 30-Second Bender

“We thought we would never see him again!” The family of popular TiK-Tok raver @technoprick is breathing a sigh of relief this afternoon. @technoprick

1 min read

November 6, 2023

Kink Adds Airfryer To Live Setup

Much-loved Bulgarian House & Techno act, Kink, has this weekend added a Bosch Air Fryer to his live setup. “I fucking love it!” said

2 mins read

July 2, 2023

“Maybe I’ll Do A Disco Edit?” Producer Hit By Moment Of Pure Inspiration

A bedroom producer has this morning blown the studio windows right out of their frames with a scene-changing burst of inspiration, one that is

1 min read

July 2, 2023

culture

Go Deeper →

Culture·Scene

Price Of Balloons Will Rise With Inflation, Warn Experts

The price of balloons is set to rise in line with inflation, say economists, balloon experts, and drug dealers. “Any balloon will rise with

May 1, 2023

by Mikey

Events

Go Deeper →

Ibiza Club Surpasses Black Hole As the Most Densely Packed Place In The Universe

Clubs

November 8, 2023

An Ibizan nightclub has been hailed by physicists as the most densely packed place in the universe, overtaking black holes, Tiesto’s head, and the blessed Madonna’s knickers to claim the

Kethead Locked In Portaloo Since 2019 ‘Glad To Be Free’

Festivals·People Of The World

May 19, 2023

A lad who purchased what he is calling ‘a fairly decent sized bag of Ket’ has this morning stumbled out of the portaloo he has called home since 2019, asking

Plastic-Free Festival In Essex Sees Five Thousand Turned Away

Festivals

April 30, 2023

An eco-friendly festival in Essex has this morning announced bankruptcy having turned away all 5000 ticket holders last weekend, as plastic was prohibited from the festival grounds. The extremely large

AROUND THE WORLD

Go Deeper →

As News Breaks Of His Womanising Ways, Matt Hancock Announces New DJ Alias

World

June 25, 2021

We may know him as cheeky chopped Matt Hancock, Secretary of Health and Social Care and most notably for the massive balls up he

Job Site Now Has ‘More DJs Than Beatport’

Online

February 18, 2021

Indeed.com is now the most-visited website for dance music professionals around the world, according to a herd of boring pollsters hidden in a basement

88% Of DJs Were Super-Spreaders Before Covid, Report Claims

Health & Fitness

February 17, 2021

Eighty-eight percent of touring DJs were classed as super-spreaders long before the term became known publicly, a leading Virologist has written in The New

Biden Appoints Sven Marquardt Head Of Security At Capitol Hill

World

January 10, 2021

President-Elect Joe Biden has announced Sven Marquardt will serve as Head Of Security at Capitol Hill following last week’s riots at the building. Sven,