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a headliner DJ complaining from his private jet

€20K Headliner Thinks Expensive Clubs Are Ruining The Culture

A house act with a history of charging fees above €20,000 per set has warned that expensive clubs are ruining dance music culture. The DJ made the comments in a heartfelt social media post from his private jet, criticising VIP tables, inflated ticket prices and bottle-service crowds for turning underground music into a luxury product inaccessible to real fans. “Dance

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August 18, 2026

DJ Booth Surrounded By People Hoping It Has Phone Charger

A nightclub DJ booth was last night surrounded by a

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Chemical Brother’s “Hey Boy Hey Girl” Re-Released As “Hey They”

The Chemical Brother’s have revealed that they will be re-releasing

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Ibiza Club Surpasses Black Hole As the Most Densely Packed Place In The Universe

An Ibizan nightclub has been hailed by physicists as the

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“Best Nap I’ve Had In Years’ Says Conference Panel Attendee

Conference panel attendees live an average of 4.5 years longer

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Tik-Tok Raver Disappears On A Massive 30-Second Bender

“We thought we would never see him again!” The family of popular

Kink Adds Airfryer To Live Setup

Much-loved Bulgarian House & Techno act, Kink, has this weekend added a

MUSIC

Christopher Columbus Discovers Good Tech House Track

“Tech House is fucking WANK!” Christopher Columbus told Wunderground earlier today. “I’ve been dead hundreds of years, and nothing – NOTHING – has ever

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January 12, 2021

Case Closed: Tupac Death Labelled Covid-19

The West Coast gangster rap scene can today breath a sigh of relief, as a rare moment of closure befalls the unsolved Tupac Shakur

1 min read

August 18, 2020

Drum N Bass DJ Only Knows 2 Genres “Drum N Bass & Anything That’s Not Drum N Bass”

A drum n bass DJ has admitted that he only knows two genres of music, drum n bass and anything that’s not drum n

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October 2, 2019

Psytrance DJ Considered Sellout After Getting First Paid Gig

A psytrance DJ has been labeled a “sellout” by a group of his peers after performing at his first paid gig last weekend. Senior

1 min read

September 24, 2019

HUMANS

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“Maybe I’ll Do A Disco Edit?” Producer Hit By Moment Of Pure Inspiration

A bedroom producer has this morning blown the studio windows right out of their frames with a scene-changing burst of inspiration, one that is

1 min read

July 2, 2023

Climate Protester Glued To The Telly

A climate protester has this morning glued himself to the telly and has told his Mum that under no circumstances will he be moved

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May 19, 2023

Kethead Locked In Portaloo Since 2019 ‘Glad To Be Free’

A lad who purchased what he is calling ‘a fairly decent sized bag of Ket’ has this morning stumbled out of the portaloo he

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May 19, 2023

Dance Music Mags Celebrate Swedish House Mafia Tour By Invoicing Them For The Coverage

Dance music magazines around the globe have been celebrating Swedish House Mafias’ latest tour, by sending them invoices specifically related to the coverage. “The

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May 19, 2023

culture

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Culture·Scene

Price Of Balloons Will Rise With Inflation, Warn Experts

The price of balloons is set to rise in line with inflation, say economists, balloon experts, and drug dealers. “Any balloon will rise with

May 1, 2023

by Mikey

Events

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Plastic-Free Festival In Essex Sees Five Thousand Turned Away

Festivals

April 30, 2023

An eco-friendly festival in Essex has this morning announced bankruptcy having turned away all 5000 ticket holders last weekend, as plastic was prohibited from the festival grounds. The extremely large

Girl’s Coachella Footage Wins Top Prize At Sundance Film Festival

Clubs·Fans·Festivals

April 25, 2023

This girls shaky camera footage shot from the crowd at Coachella has just swept the board the Sundance Film Festival, taking home ‘Best Film’, ‘Best Short Film’ and ‘Best Thing

DJ Is An Expert At Syncing Tracks To The Firework Display, Somehow

DJs·Festivals·Tech

April 3, 2023

DJs have evolved the ability to see into the future. Either that, or they’ve developed the ability to mindread stage production staff and know their every move before they make

AROUND THE WORLD

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As News Breaks Of His Womanising Ways, Matt Hancock Announces New DJ Alias

World

June 25, 2021

We may know him as cheeky chopped Matt Hancock, Secretary of Health and Social Care and most notably for the massive balls up he

Job Site Now Has ‘More DJs Than Beatport’

Online

February 18, 2021

Indeed.com is now the most-visited website for dance music professionals around the world, according to a herd of boring pollsters hidden in a basement

88% Of DJs Were Super-Spreaders Before Covid, Report Claims

Health & Fitness

February 17, 2021

Eighty-eight percent of touring DJs were classed as super-spreaders long before the term became known publicly, a leading Virologist has written in The New

Biden Appoints Sven Marquardt Head Of Security At Capitol Hill

World

January 10, 2021

President-Elect Joe Biden has announced Sven Marquardt will serve as Head Of Security at Capitol Hill following last week’s riots at the building. Sven,