A disgruntled Hardwell fan has today expressed her disappointment with the Resident Advisor Top DJs of 2014 poll, after claiming that she does not know a single DJ who made the list.
Stacy Jackson (22), claimed that, despite her in depth knowledge of EDM, she ‘hadn’t a clue who any of those guys were’ and that she would never pay money to go to a show where the ‘music and mixing skills of the DJ were more important than props and gimmicks’.
Miss Jackson, spoke of her disillusionment, “This so-called list is a complete joke. There are literally no DJs that I know of on there and I’ve been going to EDM events ever since it became popular back in 2009 so I think I should know who is who by now,” she explained. “I’ve seen it all when it comes to EDM, I’ve been to Electric Zoo, Electric Daisy Carnival and Escape From Wonderland. I’ve even had Armin van Buuren sign my tits and gotten Steve Aoki’s cream in my hair on more than one occasion,” she continued.
“But one thing I’ve never seen is a nobody like Sasha or Ben Klock headlining an awesome festival. I mean who the hell are these guys?” she dismissively asked. “Some of them look really old too and aren’t even slightly hot. This whole list is a bit of an insult to my intelligence if I’m being completely honest,” she added.
“Everyone knows that Hardwell is the world’s number one DJ. Before today I always thought that Dixon was a county in Nebraska,” she continued, “And now you’re telling me that HE is the world’s number one DJ. I don’t think so! How can you be at the top of the list when you’ve never even made a track with Rihanna or Beyonce? The whole thing just doesn’t make sense,” continued the clearly confused young woman.
“I’ve spent all day looking up videos of these guys on Youtube. I can’t even tell if half of them are DJs or plumbers because all I keep finding are videos of boiler rooms, if I wanted to look at boiler room I’d go hang out in my attic,” she added. “When I did find some real videos of these guys they were so boring. There were no cakes, the DJs hardly ever put their hands in the air and the bass only dropped once or twice per track,” she continued disgustedly.
“The people at Resident Advisor really need to ask themselves is EDM about skilled DJs playing good music or is it about generically marketable douche bags playing mediocre music while using cheap gimmicks to distract an uneducated but extremely commercially profitable crowd,” she concluded.